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Wednesday, January 12, 2011

Executive Order 16661- 7:53 am

Lindsey was there when we arrived at the station; she looked as incredible as ever. Lindsey Sinclair was my brother’s girlfriend, but to be honest he didn’t deserve her; I knew all about what he thought about her, or rather what he thought about her with. Just a few minutes earlier Enoch had informed me that Lindsey had told him that she loved him; his response?

Nothing, he didn’t say a word; he hung up on her.

That is my brother; the real class act.

 “You could have at least acknowledged that she said something, I mean she did tell you she loved you.” I was trying not to sound too upset or bothered by his reaction.

“Look, I froze and I panicked…it was not what I was expecting, ok. Back off.”

Why don’t you back off from Lindsey if you can’t commit?

I have to be honest; I  had a secret crush on Lindsey ever since we first got to the church. It was with great reluctance that Mr. Sinclair let us hang around his daughter and only after a severe prodding from his wife. We had become good friends despite the fighting that often took place between our parents. We never went to each other’s houses, so we had to find a neutral spot to hangout.

My tale with girls is the opposite of Enoch’s, who will date any girl that is physically attractive and bats on eyelash at him. His tastes are real simple and real shallow. My parents had tried to teach him the necessity of choosing and appreciating something more in a woman except her physique, but largely they had failed. Enoch dated some really wretched girls before I told him that Lindsey liked him. Of course, when he found out he went after her like she was like any of the other girls; she was not like the other girls.

He had tried to “hook me up” several times with various females from school, all who cared only about my looks. Yeah, we were both pretty good looking guys, but while Enoch ate it up like some Greek demigod, I preferred to focus on the other, more important aspects of my character. These girls he kept trying to fix me up with only wanted the prestige of going out with me and some wanted me to push my boundaries, which I refused to do. There were girls that I liked, but they were always interested in jerks like my dear brother; something about the kind of attention they got. I took my faith and convictions seriously and a lot of people (even at church) did not. I was out to protect my purity. The biggest hindrance though had been that I had fallen in love with Lindsey Sinclair.

I was in love with my brother’s girlfriend and neither of them had any idea.

Why, Lindsey? Oh, let me count the reasons! She is beautiful, brilliant, humble, and she loves God more than I do. We used to sit and talk about what we wanted in a future spouse and even read various dating books. We never went into any details, nor were we inappropriate but we did share some of our struggles with loneliness and waiting for the right person.

“So, what do you think the odds are that I will find a girl with all of that?” I laughed after reading to Lindsey my impossible list that no spouse could ever meet.

“I think, Eli, that you have as much a chance of finding her as I have of finding a knight on a white horse.” We both laughed; her laugh was intoxicating.

“No, I am serious, Eli, and then he will recite Shakespeare and describe his quest for the Holy Grail or something, that incidentally led him to me!” the laughter continued to where we are on the ground.

Ask her, you dolt. Ask her out!

“Do you ever think that I will find that kind of guy, Eli?”

“Well, I don’t know. Do you have any in mind? I said too much with that statement. Lindsey looked at me quizzically, but then smiled and nodded.

“Actually, Eli, I do have someone in mind. In fact, you know him quite well.”

Are you freaking kidding me? Is she about to ask ME out?

Every nerve in my body was on ends and I was almost dying with the anticipation. After ignoring and fighting the desire, I was going to ask Lindsey out this time; I was going to take the leap.

I smiled, “Oh, really? And who might that be?”

“Eli, you know that for a long time…” yes, keep going, “…I have had this really huge crush…” 
wow, this is actually happening, “…on your brother Enoch…” WHAT!? “…and I was hoping you could help me…” oh, you have got to be kidding me. “…get his attention.”

My heart sank and everything inside that had been so vibrant with life seemed to lose all of its chatoyance and die. A shroud veiled my mind; I was hurt, jealous, and angry. I did not know what to say or do; yes I did, I am not my brother. I would be noble and I would do the right thing.

“Do you think your brother is like the guy I am looking for?” was her sincere question.

No. no I really don’t.

“Enoch, is a good guy; I mean he is better than a lot of the guys you meet at school. He is kind of hard to get to notice…”

“But would you help me? You could say a good word for me! Please, Eli, it would mean the world to me. Your brother seems like such a great guy, especially now that he has stopped dating  from the school trash bin. I see so much improvement in his life; he is seeking God now…that is what I want, Eli.”

Lindsey, how could you do this to me

“Yeah, of course I will say something to him for you; what are friends for, right?”

I did say something to Enoch and all the change that was starting to happen because he stopped chasing skirts ended and poor Lindsey was already sucked in. But I wanted her to be happy; I wanted to speak well of my brother; I wanted to help a friend. I am not my brother; I am Elijah Emmanuel Sinclair and I am a knight-errant of the Modern Age.

And for that I lost the girl.

“There she is too; don’t say a word about it…if she mentions it I…I will come up with something.” Enoch seemed almost terrified to get out of the car.

“You are going to have deal with this sooner or later, bro.” I got out of the car first; Enoch immediately followed.

“You guys are late.” Lindsey walked up to us without any smiles; she was angry, I could tell, because of the stress you she was holding in her eyelids.

“Eh, oh sorry babe, I had to wait for Elijah to finish getting dressed.” Oh, so it is my fault; thanks brother.

“It’s ok. I have been watching the church for a few minutes, nothing seems to be happening. But look at the Starbucks over there,” she pointed to the Starbucks across the street, “there is a huge truck parked in the back and I watched a guy get in the back of the truck where the cargo would go; it might be nothing but it is weird.” We both nodded in agreement, “What has been fun to watch is the animated conversation between the guy in that car and the woman that showed up not too long ago. They are yelling about something, but I can’t really hear any intelligible words. The guy she was with went into Starbucks and hasn’t come out yet.”
Lindsey had the amazing ability to track details and it is one of the things I loved about her mind. I tried not to look too impressed with her mental powers and instead feigned interest in what she was pointing at. Enoch just stood there, awkward and nervous, waiting for the explosion that was sure to take place.

She is not that kind of girl; she is not going to blow up at you in public.

“Is there any more news from your dad?” Lindsey asked to neither one of us specifically.

“Well, no…” Enoch tried to start and I could tell he was trying to avoid causing more anger. Very well I will save you again, brother.

“Dad really does not want us to leave the house, but I insisted that we should at least find out what is going on. Besides, dad is not\ doubt talking to the church staff as he told us he was planning to do about 7:30ish.”

You insisted you guys come out here? That is not like you, Eli, to blow off your dad. I guess you do have a little bit of Enoch in you.” Ugh, why don’t you just slap me with a rotting fish.

“Yeah, haha, Eli will surprise you sometimes!” Enoch was nervous and it was making him sound weird and awkward.

Lindsey’s brow arched, “What is the matter, Enoch, you look tense? Why would you be tense, Enoch?” 

Lindsey was letting him know he was in trouble without making a scene and I could tell my brother did not want answer the question. So, I saved him again.

“Hey, instead of waiting in this smelly parking lot, let’s go get some coffee. You guys in?” I started walking that direction to indicate that it really was not an option.

“Yeah, sure,” was the response both of them gave.

What is wrong with you Eli? Why don’t you let him get shredded to bits? He certainly deserves it!

Because I am Elijah McAllister, that’s why.

I walked to get away from them, because what I wanted to do was call my brother’s bluff, make him look like the letch that he is and then confess my undying love to Lindsey Sinclair. That sounded pretty good in my head and the fantasy that I indulged was tempting to bring into reality…but it would not end like I wanted it to. Lindsey would never talk to either of us again and my brother would beat me senseless.

Neither of those things was good.

As we got to the door the guy that came with the screaming female walked out of the store; he was a stout, intimidating guy; yet, something in his body language said it was all posing and that he was actually a pushover. He smiled at us as he hurried out to the car where the female was obviously getting close to murdering the guy in the other car.

There is not telling what all of THAT is about; just keep walking.

We ordered our coffee and sat down. I was pretending to be preoccupied with the scene unraveling in the parking lot, Enoch was doing everything but making eye contact with Lindsey, and Lindsey looked as if she wanted to hurl her Non-fat Caramel Latte in his face. I am not sure I would attempt to stop her, Enoch. We all sat in a tangible, awkward silence; we all knew there was not just an elephant but a whole herd of them in the room, but no one had the guts to say anything.

Outside, the man we passed had managed to drag the woman back to their car and was now having a conversation with the guy in the other car. He was trying to be nice, but I could tell by his stiffness that the guy in the car was getting on his nerves.

“Why did you hang up on me, Enoch?” the question came out of nowhere and I suddenly joined the table I was sitting at.

Enoch was stricken white, “Lins, I…”

“No, Enoch. I told you that I loved you and you hung up on me! Why would you do that?”

I was starting to worry that our tense table talk would soon end like the brawl that we had just witnessed in the parking lot; not that I would mind Lindsey beating the crap out of Enoch and then ending their relationship for good. He would so deserve that for treating her like a car he drives around town. No, he would’ve taken much better care of a car.

“Lins, the truth is that…the truth is that I was kind of shocked and overwhelmed; it was just not the right timing…”

“Not the right timing? Are you saying that I can only love you at certain times? Why were you shocked, don’t you have similar feelings for me?” Lindsey went from angry to hurt in like two seconds.

And that is what it all boiled down to: feelings. It did not matter if he ever showed a scrap of actual love for her because she was trapped in their emotional enmeshment caused by their careless physical enmeshment. I had tried to warn her that this would happen; I tried to save her but she would not listen.

“He wants you to do what?” I could not believe that she was telling me this.

“He wants me to whisper dirty things to him and touch his…parts through his clothes.” Lindsey looked embarrassed and ashamed; I wanted to castrate my brother.

“Lindsey…why are you even considering this?” I was incredulous to how this beautiful, God-honoring woman was about to compromise herself in this manner, for my brother.

She was going to do this for my brother, the son of my father the pastor of our church.

“Because, I love him, Eli. I love him and I want to make him happy. I mean, it is not like we are having sex.” 

Her answer was sincere and my heart broke for her.

“But how long is it going to be before he wants that too, Lindsey? If he loved you, like you love him, he would protect you and not make you do this.” I was getting angrier as the conversation continued.

“But he does love me, Eli! I can see it in his eyes, the way he holds me, the promises he makes about the future.” Her smile broke my heart more than her earlier sadness.

Lies, Lindsey, all lies.

“Have you ever thought that he is just telling you what you want to hear? That he is using you just like he used the other girls?”

“Eli, you told me that he had changed; I believe that. Could he be compromising me? Sure, but I think he will see that I am uncomfortable with it and will protect me. He just needs some more time to continue to mature; I can help him to change.”

He needs a swift kick in the genitals.

“Lindsey, I cannot make your choices for you. But please, consider what this will do to your purity and your relationship with Christ; please consider all that you will be giving up.”

She nodded and looked struck, but then gathered herself up.

“Well, I have to go Eli. Please pray for me and it was good talking to you.”

The conversation ended and not too soon after I went to find Enoch; I was going to make sure he decided to change.

“Eli, hey bro, I was just…”

“Enoch, you need sit down and listen to me, now.” He stared at me with an expression of defiance and curiosity; I was rarely intimidating so he sat down.

“Whoa, hey what is this about?”

“You. It is about you, Enoch. Just like your relationship with Lindsey is about you.” I was so angry I think smoke was coming out my nostrils.

“What are you talking about?” and then revelation dawned on his face, “She told you, didn’t she?”

“Yeah, you bet she told me, and she should; who else is going to protect her purity and her godliness! It certainly is not you; all you have done is use Lindsey as a daily make out appointment. Well, I am tired of your blatant disregard for her spirituality.” Enoch looked genuinely scared.

“Oh yeah, and why do you care so much? What business is it of yours? What are you going to do? Tell Dad? Are you going to snitch on me?”

That is when I did something I rarely do; I rushed of forward, extended my forearm, and pinned Enoch by the neck onto the bed.

“No, brother; if you don’t listen, I am going to make sure that you regret every day you have laid eyes on Lindsey. She is my best friend and you will treat her like you actually care about her. Is that understood?” 
Enoch was struggling to get up but for some reason I had supernatural strength.

I continued, “This sick, perverted thing you want her to do; you will drop it. And if I hear you want her to do anything beyond what you already do, then I will make you wish you were born a woman. Are we clear?”

Enoch glared at me but when I matched the intensity; he nodded through my arm and I released him. He coughed a little as I began walking out of the room.

“It was your idea that I should date her! You remember that, Eli.” Is what he yelled back as I walked down the hall.

I will never forget that for as long as I live, brother.

I stared at Enoch and he knew exactly what I was communicating; he looked at Lindsey and back at me and I could tell he was rat who had sprung his own trap.

“Lindsey, I love you too. I just…I just did not know how to say it considering all that is going on.”

Surely, she would see through this smokescreen; surely she would tell he was lying and end the relationship right then and there. Surely, she is not buying this load of crap.

Then she smiled. She really is buying a whole ton of this crap!

“Really, Eno? Do you really love me?” Lindsey had all of sudden forgotten her anger or what had occurred; it is like the mentioning of those words cured everything.

“Yeah, haha of course I do, babe. I have known it for some time now…I just did not know how you felt; so you can understand why I was scared?” Enoch showed that cheating grin of his.

I could not believe it; my brother could probably lie himself out of a treason charge even if it was recorded on national television. Lindsey was  half laughing and half crying at the news that her feelings were reciprocated and all I could think was perhaps they deserved each other.

“I knew you did, Enoch! Especially when you started listening to me about our physical intimacy; I just knew God was breaking through to you and teaching you how to love me! Wow, I am so happy…” and then she leaned over and kissed him.

I wanted to die.



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