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Monday, January 17, 2011

Cultural Beatitudes

In preparation for our retreat to South Carolina, we were challenged to come up with some "cultural beatitudes" that our American, consumer culture ascribes is a list I came up with.

Blessed are the powerful for they shall determine what is right for everyone else.

Blessed are the religious for they shall always have God on their side.

Blessed are those who lust for they will lie, steal, and kill to get what they want.

Blessed are the comfortable for they can sip hot lattes unconcerned that many go without clean water.

Blessed are the politically correct for they shall never have to think for themselves.

Blessed are the ignorant for it will surely vanish, if they act like it is not there.

Blessed are the celebrities for through carelessness they shall wreck their own lives while millions watch.

Blessed are the vengeful for they are the true arbiters of justice.

Blessed are the weird for they are just as normal as everyone else.

Blessed are the trendy for they will die happy with their Macbooks and hip clothes.

Blessed are the cosmetically vain for they set a standard of perfection no one else can reach.

Blessed are the successful for they will work themselves to an early grave or a messy divorce.

Blessed are the lazy for the government or their mother will take care of them for the rest of their lives.

Blessed are the greedy for they will get theirs and take yours without a backwards glance.

Blessed are the sarcastic for they have made cynicism an art form.

Blessed are the self-absorbed for they have the company of many others.

Blessed are the self-righteous for they can be right even when they are wrong.

Blessed are the proud for they shall teach everyone how to be humble.

Blessed are the fearful for they shall be slaves under the illusion of freedom.

Blessed are the entitled for everyone has to coddle them or risk a guilt trip.

Blessed are the gluttonous for by their appetites they shall rid the world of unnecessary residents.

Blessed are the fools for someone will always be stupid enough to bail them out.

Blessed are the know-it-alls for they know just enough to make everyone depressed.

Blessed are the skeptical for by believing in nothing they are not accountable for anything.

Blessed are the critics for they can become experts without any experience.

Blessed are the rebellious for they will tear down one institution just to erect another.

Blessed are the ticked off for everyone around them shall soon be ticked off also.

Blessed are those who yell for they shall be heard even through noise cancelling headsets and content filters.

Blessed are those who moan, gripe, and complain in self-pity/ loathing for it will surely make life fair and pleasant.

Blessed are the manipulative for they flatter people into building their empires.

Blessed are the atheists for by sheer force of will and determination they have murdered God.

Are there other "cultural beatitudes" that you think should be on this list?


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